Do You Need Any Food Mailed To You?

This question was asked to me everytime I communicated with someone back home my first two months in Afghanistan and I always answered yes, send what you feel would be enough for me. The positive response was overwhelming. I have a small shelf in my small room ( I will post pictures of my room in the near future on Facebook) and it quickly began to beg for mercy with Girl Scout Cookies, beef jerky, summer sausage, crackers, Snicker protein bars and boxes of Wheaties Fuel Cereal quickly burying it. One Winter day here in paradise I stared at my shelf. It looked like a pantry. Five minutes turned to 10 minutes. What was I thinking as I stared at the miniture gas station snack aisle in my domain you might be asking? I was simply thinking "Do I really need food mailed to me?". What were people back home thinking I was living and eating like in Southwest Asia? Let me let you into the subsistence that is offered for my selection on a daily basis.

If you asked me a month ago, how I would rate the food, I would of said it is real good. Unfortunately, the past month the quality has noticably dropped to were I now would rate it a 5 out of 10 instead of an 8 out of 10. For those of you that don't know what my specific military job is, it's Food Service. Some of you based on the way I look, speak and act thought that I did something else that was "cool and important" in the Army. Well, I do have a cool and important job it's called Food Service (Not cook. That sounds like a degrading term to me). It's unfortunately eliminated in the majority of the places where Soldiers are deployed. A majority (not all) of dining facilities are ran by civilians who come over to make tax free money in a deployment zone. What do the Army food service specialists do if they can't do their jobs, you may ask? Two things, sit at a counter and count how many people come in to eat at every meal or get assigned to whatever mission needs extra Soldiers. I actually like doing something different. I am not afraid to show my range and versatility in the Army. Anyway, back to the point. Here in my very small camp, it is civilian ran, so I am now on the other side as the customer, however they are unaware that I know and see what they do right and wrong.

All meals are a combination of heated frozen or  fresh cooked meals made in the kitchen. Breakfast offers cream beef, biscuits, hashbrowns, potato pancakes, cheese grits, regular grits, bacon, sausage, scrambled eggs, eggs to order such as any type of omelet you could want, waffles, pancakes, vast assortment of fresh fruit to chose from, cereal and alot of other good stuff that quite frankly is pretty good.

Lunch is as bi-polar as Axl Rose, the singer of Guns and Roses. As of now, you don't know what you are going to get served. Again, its fresh cooked, however it's not really healthy. Just about everything is fried like mozzarella sticks, fries, pizza poppers, small pizzas and they make burgers (frozen processed patties) on the grill. They have a sandwich bar that is up 24/7 since in between meals you can come in and make yourself a sandwich whenever you want, however sometimes the sandwich bar is like a crying baby with a soiled diaper. It's begging to get changed out. They have Jack's Beef Jerky packs, energy drinks, energy bars and assorted snacks to take with you. They also have fresh made cakes, frozen pies, frozen ice cream bars, frozen sorbet bars, an ice cream bar that serves a really expensive ice cream that sounds like Haasgans or something like that with self serve toppings. As you can tell, I don't eat it since I don't know the name. Yes, they have sodas here. All Coke products are offered along with Gatorade and this other sports drink known as Mega Sport. Ironically, it comes from Warren, Michigan. The first time I saw it was from Michigan, it brought a smile to my face and I briefly recalled some good times when I lived there. I drink mostly bottled water. Sodas make me sick out here. My body only burns premium fuel.

Dinner is usually the meal, where I forgive the dining facility for what they offered me at lunch. Each day has its theme. Monday thru Wednesday is forgettable. Again, good food, just not my type for an awesome body that I am trying to maintain and build upon. Thursday night is fresh, homemade burger night where I get two burgers with no bread. Friday is steak, shrimp and/or lobster tails/crab legs. Steak and shrimp is what I usually take. Saturday is Mongolian night where they cook the plate of stir fry items that you picked, on the grill. Sunday is the best for me and alot of the guys. Homemade pizza. The dough is from pillsbury tubes and the toppings are leftovers from the salad bar and breakfast, but it is sooooo goooood! My normal response when I see four sheet pans of different pizzas is usually "I'll take one slice of each please". Without hesitating, the civilian starts loading the plate. By the way, each slice is about half the slice of a normal pizza in the states, so don't think I am gorging and splurging like Charlie Sheen at a hotel room with cocaine and webcam to "talk" to his fans. Again, my body and mind is of the upmost importance to me out here, so just like Charlie, yeah I'm "winning" out here. A great thing out at this camp is that you can get as much food, as many times as you want. No questions asked. They don't offer just one type of item. They have other choices if you don't like that stuff, I am giving you the "theme meal" of the day.

Now here is what might shock you. There are some camps that offer what I described to you, but they also have Burger King, Subway, McDonalds and Pizza Hut to chose from if they don't want to eat for free. Yes, they pay out of their own pockets, but it is a pointless in my opinion to eat there consistently since you can eat for free. Plus, a "large" pizza is $10 and is the size of a medium pizza. As a matter of fact, you pay more than you would back in the states. Would you pay $8 or $9 dollars for a "value" meal? You might be surprised that there is one camp that has a TGI Friday's with servers and everything just like the states.

Every camp in Afghanistan is different. What you see on television is true, however luxuries, experiances and options are different based where you're located. There are some small camps that don't have the options like I or other Soldiers have. By the way, I don't have options like BK etc., on my camp and I happily eat for free. Those Soldiers in remote camps would trade to have a fresh, hot meal even if it is fried on a consistent basis. They mostly eat MRE's (meals ready to eat) that are actually pretty good, but like anything it gets repeative after awhile.

With what I described in my small camp, I still see Soldiers complaining. Yesterday for dinner, I heard a Soldier complain that he no longer was satisfied with eating the same "shit" every week. He got up and threw away a freshly made cheeseburger with toppings into the trash. He didn't even take one bite. My Soldiers and I looked at him like he was the biggest idiot. I wasn't the only one. A local Afghan who works at the dining facility watched the food go in the trash. I saw that he had the same expression on his  face. He hid it pretty well, but I could tell he was offended that someone would not appreciate what options and luxuries they had. I am pretty sure food is not wasted in Afghanistan like that. If we weren't around, I would not have been surprised if he would of taken it from him to prevent waste. We, Soldiers, represent and construct the view of what an American is on a daily basis. I am pretty sure this incident came up at home with his family or friends.  Sorry about my "soapbox" moment. Food deserves proper respect.

Now that you know that I eat good here along with the majority of Soldiers in Afghanistan, a snack from home is always welcomed, however, please do not send the entire grocery store shelf in the mail. We will pass out the excess snacks to our Soldiers who can make weight to enjoy. Unless you send me Girl Scout Cookies. I open a box, eat one cookie and the next thing I know I wake up to empty boxes and wrappers the next morning wondering what happened. As you can tell, it is very easy to get overweight out here when you put care packages and the food here together. By the way, the food on my shelf was gone two months after I received it . I no longer keep food in my room and I have now said no to care packages since March, except for my Wheaties Fuel Cereal from the wife. I have her send me two boxes at a time to break the boredom of the same cereals here.lol. Until next time, take care.

Remember, The Bullets Don't Have Eyes

This is my first blog posting that is not required for a college course. Before I continue, if anyone who is subscribed to this blog as a result of a class we shared together, you are more than welcome to stay on or you can choose to delete access to it. It's completely up to you. Alot of people wonder what I do over here. I have a very unique mission that is both rewarding and frustrating. I work with Soldiers from other countries and specifically advise Afghan National Army Military Instructors on how to effectively and safely train their Soldiers who just graduated from their country's basic training course. I am the Senior Instructor Advisor, while my Soldiers are advisors to the rest of the instructors.  My first day out at the training site was surreal. My Soldiers and I went (and still do) out in "full kit" which means we wear every type of body armor issued to us with our weapons loaded. The previous unit we replaced wore the basic armor vest and a patrol cap (the baseball looking hat for those not familiar with military jargon) and carried a loaded weapon. Their unit intent was to convey the message of "we work together and as show of trust we won't wear all of our gear since we know you got our back". Our unit message is "we work together but we don't know you that well and we will be ready to defend ourselves if needed. Hopefully, it won't have to come down to that". Quite frankly, my belief and alot of other smart leaders is simple. If you wear one piece of body armor, you wear ALL body armor from head to toe. Yes, it gets hot out with it on, but you have piece of mind in case something happens that you are ready to react. The Afghan Soldiers looked at us like we were rock stars. I viewed them as dangerous and if they were plotting against us. It is not uncommon to see a Soldier who used to be in the Taliban and "reformed" and join his country's Army. A few of them have actually reformed, again in my opinion, some have not. Some stand out when they just look at you like Charles Manson. We look right back at them until their instructor comes over and smacks their head to pay attention to the block of instruction they are giving. To not be a distraction, we stay in the back out of respect for the instructor. We have interpreters who are local Afghans. Some were children when the Taliban ruled in Afghanistan, while others left with their families and stayed in Pakistan while the country was at war with the Russians. They speak english very well, actually alot better than some of my Soldiers.lol. Things I learned real quick. Take off your sunglasses, shake hands and never turn down tea. I stopped wearing sunglasses and wear clear lenses so they can see that I can look into their souls.lol. Really, it's out of respect and drinking tea out of their cups is hard because they don't really wash the cups. It's rinse and put new liquid in. I probaly drank from a cup that 20 people before me drank out of. I tell my Soldiers, if I'm drinking, you are too. Just remember, the chi (tea) has to be hot. If not, you will be sick as one of my Soldiers found out one day. The big thing is respect. If you treat them like you're better, they see right through it. The Afghans are not dumb. They are very smart. They will act however you want. Be pushy and agressive and force them to do something, they will embarass you when you least expect it and it's usually in front of your command group. Fortunately, since we treat them with respect, they made us look real good on all occasions. It's a partnership for sure.  The main thing to have is patience and to remember, it's THEIR army. They will do what you recommend however it may take a week or two until it becomes the standard. Again, we don't train the students, just help the instructors be better leaders.

Within a few weeks of being in Afghanistan, reports started coming down about Afghan Soldiers turning and killing their advisors at the training sites across Afghanistan. I could not imagine the horror of being in that situation. We did have a close call the first month there. There was a range that was used nearby by friendly forces at the training center. Behind the range and all over the training site are junkyards of old Russian tanks and outposts that were destroyed during Afghanistan's war with Russia in the 80's. Well, some of those bullets ricocheted and landed in different areas and missed one of my Soldiers by five feet. My Soldiers thought they were getting attacked, put their weapons on red (meaning bullet in chamber and weapon from safe to fire) and got behind their armored vehicles, while the Afghan students and instructors ran for cover. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the range was moved away from the training range. The outgoing unit, "forgot" to tell us of a situation that happened a month before we arrived as verified by reports found in computers while I was doing my story board. Gee, thanks. My Soldiers prior to this incident, started grumbling about being in full kit. Ever since that day, no one has complained about being in full kit.lol.

Well, now you know what my job entails of. I will share more in future posts. Talk to you later.